Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs have announced the are to apply for charitable status in an attempt to get “celebrities” to pay some contribution towards society.
The move comes as Gary Barlow joins Jimmy Carr and Chris Moyles to be threatened with the naughty step over their dubious tax affairs.
Lin Homer, chief executive of HMRC explained: “Trying to get these wealthy people to pay their fair share is impossible. We’re sure it’s because you don’t get any publicity for filling in a self assessment form.
“But give them a chance to bang on about how much they do for charity and we think they’ll pay up before touring breakfast television studios telling the nation they don’t like to talk about their charity work”.
If the plan works and HMRC is declared a charity then programmes such as I’m A Celebrity (Get Me Out Of Here) and Celebrity Big Brother may be asked to give a percentage of the phone vote money to the “good cause”.
Barlow has said he is very sorry for the oversight but added he can’t wait to help the HMRC charity by writing a song and singing it whilst pretending to play it.
“That will raise a load of money,” Barlow insisted. “The public love that shit. And the best bit is my accountant reckons anything I raise for the HMRC can be written off against my tax bill.”
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They will now agree a “settlement” with him. What that means is that they will agree to collect a percentage of what is actually due, maybe 60%. Then it will agree to collect the sum over a period of ten years or so, at a ridiculously low interest rate. This is not an attempt at humour, this is reality.