The Scouts, Territorial and Salvation Armies have been stood down in Harold after experts confirmed it was the heavy winds that blew 11 recycling boxes in to the middle of the road, and it was not the start of an Eco-invasion.
“The alarm was raised at 5am this morning during the storm,” PC Flegg told us. “We had calls from several concerned residents who say the recycling boxes were taking up ‘a combat position’ in the middle of the road.
Following the ‘great breeze’ of 2013, the government has taken the opportunity to use the travel disruption to push forward some of the benefits of HS2, claiming the carriages of the high-speed trains will have the ability to jump over fallen trees.
Oxford Street as it’s predicted to be by tomorrow. We don’t know the cause of the storm for sure but we’re fairly convinced it’s happening because David Cameron shot an albatross.
The country is officially at panic stations this morning ever since a BBC weather presenter told viewers of Breakfast that the approaching storm won’t be serious.
“It was terrifying,” said Sally Kettle who was watching in her kitchen in Harold. “She was all calm and said ‘Earlier on today apparently a woman left a post on our message board and said she’d heard that there is a hurricane on the way. Well, if you’re watching, don’t worry, there isn’t...’ then she looked right into the camera and gave a reassuring little smile. You know what that means, don’t you? We’re doomed!”
Filed under News, Weather