Toronto mayor and crack smoker Rob Ford. Strange, we’d always thought that crack was an appetite suppressant.
As Toronto mayor Rob Ford continues to stumble around that city smashing into objects and councillors like a rubbish Godzilla, crack has finally become a thing in the eyes of white people.
“I’m not racist,” said Harold councillor Ron Ronsson. “Far from it, I watched every episode of The Wire, but I’d always assumed that crack was an urban problem like Tyler Perry films. Now I know it can effect rich, middle-aged white men in good jobs, well, now it’s firmly on my radar.” Continue reading
Filed under News, Politics
Mayor Jackson in reflective mood.
The Mayor of the village of Harold has vowed not to resign, despite police confirmation that they have a video of him apparently eating a local pensioner.
Mayor Rufus D Jackson, who had previously denied being a murderous man-eating monster, appeared emotional as he insisted to journalists this morning that “a few isolated bouts of cannibalism” should not prevent him from doing his job.
After months of ducking the question, Mr Jackson acknowledged at a press conference outside Harold’s butcher supplies emporium that he had merely “eaten one or two people” while “really really hungry”.