Tom Daley; we would
Inspired by Tom Daley’s brilliant-bronze on Day 3, two other Team GB divers won Olympic gold last night. Neither of them are, or have at any time been related to Tom Daley.
Speaking about their win, Daley, who first shot to public prominence in the 2008 Olympics, as the youngest member of Team GB, said he was ‘delighted’ for his team mates.
Still only 22, Tom has been diving since he was just seven years old, an age when many less-talented children can’t even swim, much less jump into a pool. Continue reading
*shakes fist* “Corbyyyyyyyn!”
In a blistering editorial the Guardian today claims that the only possible for reason for the swimming pools at the Rio Olympics to have turned green is because “Jeremy Corbyn’s made them all bollocks like demonstrating his unfitness to lead the Labour Party and offering further proof that he’s a massive, massive git-whistle.” Continue reading
Hoofed out of the Olympics for fielding athletes with more drugs in them than the Wolf of Wall Street, Russia has said that it doesn’t care and that playing alone is “way so much cooler and more fun.”
Listlessly bouncing a tennis ball against a wall and trying to catch it one-handed Russia said that the Olympics were “rubbish” and that it didn’t want to compete against other countries because they’re all “gaylords and have fleas.” Continue reading
Although a blatant racist, Griffin claims to see both sides of the argument
Nick Griffin, leader of the British National Party, has said the news that Rio Ferdinand has retired from playing for England a victory for racists everywhere.
Ferdinand’s announcement comes after John Terry was picked for the last European championship ahead of him despite being due in court for racially abusing his brother, Anton. Although the court cleared Terry of the charges, the FA found him guilty and banned him accordingly.
“Rio’s decision is the right one, and shows the growing support for fascism in the footballing community” Griffin told reporters.
“I think we need to thank John Terry, the England fans accused of racially abusing him at a recent game and Paolo Di Canio for raising the profile of right-wing nut jobs in the game.”