Tag Archives: Tom Daley

by | August 11, 2016 · 10:10 am

Tom Daley’s team mates strike Olympic diving Gold

daley4

Tom Daley; we would

Inspired by Tom Daley’s brilliant-bronze on Day 3, two other Team GB divers won Olympic gold last night. Neither of them are, or have at any time been related to Tom Daley.

Speaking about their win,  Daley, who first shot to public prominence in the 2008 Olympics, as the youngest member of Team GB, said he was ‘delighted’ for his team mates.

Still only 22, Tom has been diving since he was just seven years old, an age when many less-talented children can’t even swim, much less jump into a pool. Continue reading →

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by | August 9, 2016 · 10:18 am

Protests as conjoined twins win synchronised diving gold yet again

very synchronised divers

Two hearts that beat as one…

There were protests in the international diving community today after conjoined twinsTom and Dan Goodfellow-Daley won Olympic gold yet again with a perfectly-synchronised dive in Rio.

The twins, who are joined at the shoulder, thigh and buttock, rose as one off the high board before executing a perfectly simultaneous double backflip and pike, hitting the water at the exact same second.

“It seems so unfair,” complained Eddie and Geoff Rutter, an entirely separate pair of synchronised divers from the English village of Harold. “We understand that they’ve overcome great obstacles in life to get where they are today, but we feel that the being synchronised bit just isn’t as hard for them.”

“I mean, we’ve practised the timing and everything for years. We’ve developed a near-telepathic sense of oneness. And we asked if we could use a huge piece of duct tape to stick ourselves together, but they said no. So where’s the justice?”

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by | December 3, 2013 · 11:00 am

Tom Daley posters now on 100% of UK teenager’s bedroom walls

tom-daleyTom Daley’s announcement that ‘right now I’m dating a guy’ while also clarifying ‘I still fancy girls’ has ensured that every UK teenager now has a Tom Daley poster on their bedroom wall.

“I’ve loved Tom since he was in short trousers, well he’s still in short trousers” said Melanie Delaney, aged 19 from Harold. “I’m just so relieved that Tom is only dating that guy ‘right now’. As soon as Tom gives him the flick, I’ve got a really good chance as he’s made it clear he ‘still fancies girls’.”

Melanie’s brother, Simon Delaney aged 16, was full of excitement as he stuck his first Tom Daley poster to his wall. “I’ve always known I was gay and I can’t wait to meet Tom as soon as he finishes with the guy he is with ‘right now’.”
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