“Votes, lovely votes. I’ll count the votes in…”
David Cameron’s main concern about the Chilcot report delay is being unable to learn its lessons.
“I mean, I can’t actually see a problem in launching air attacks in Syria” mused the PM to close friends today “But without Chilcot, it’s just impossible to know what might go wrong.”
“Then there’s the plus side. To see RAF jets – not the Red Arrows, proper ones – in action… ‘I counted them all out and I counted them all back’… Continue reading
At least he earned the right to wear his uniform and doesn’t just dress up in one for no good reason like his Uncle Edward
There was shock in the village of Harold this morning when an alcoholic rough sleeper turned out to be Prince William.
“I saw this lad sat outside Tesco all huddled up under some blankets and clutching a bottle so I slipped him a few coins,” said villager Tom Stalling. “And instead of saying ‘cheers, mate’ he said ‘that’s really most terribly kind of you. Do you visit here often? Have you had to come far?’ and made me feel like the most important person in the world. That’s when I realised he wasn’t an ordinary homeless bloke.” Continue reading