He said he didn’t know she was a sex worker. Well, he would say that, wouldn’t he?
The general public has welcomed news of a Tory sex scandal.
“Tax avoidance isn’t the easiest subject for people to get their heads around,” said villager Pippa Delaney, “but a good old fashioned romp in a gimp mask is something we can all definitely relate to.”
When Culture Minister John Whittingdale discovered he had done some sex work unwittingly with a sex worker, he immediately declared it in his personal ‘Register of My Member’s Interests’, or diary.
“Even though we were having sex,” he explained, “I did not know it at the time. I thought she was another member of the Culture Committee. Other times she was a plumber. It depended which game we were playing.”
“Do you want some?” When offering tea
Have you ever been embarrassed when a finance director keeps on asking you to justify your expenses claim? Maybe you were busy doing important stuff and forgot to explain but telling him to ‘P*ss off’ is rarely wise.
Sometimes your own career simply hasn’t prepared you for the task. If, say, you’ve worked in advertising – making things up for a living – you might not realise that sometimes people are supposed to be open and honest. Continue reading
Young royals warned not to sheikh the baby
Following today’s launch of ‘The Sun’s royal baby monitor’, a live camera feed from outside St Mary’s Hospital, the News Group (formally News International) paper has announced how they are going to use their unique reporting methods to bring unrivalled access to the royal birth.
“Great reporters, amazing technology, and dubious moral values mean we can bring you the royal birth from the first contraction right through to long lens picture of the royal baby’s first suckle” editor David Dinsmore told readers. Continue reading
A Harold man who was sentenced to 6 years in prison after being found guilty of 18 counts of burglary has rejected the judge’s plan and suggested an alternative proposal “in the spirit of the judge’s recommendation” that doesn’t involve him going to prison.
Paul David broke into houses in Harold and Felching over a period of three months and stole thousands of pounds worth of valuables, but he insists that prison is not the answer as it could set a dangerous precedent in restricting his freedom.
“What I am proposing instead is an independent regulatory body, made up mostly of members of my family, with the power to review any incidents they feel are inappropriate and make recommendations as to my future conduct.” said Mr David,