The tiresome wanker is expected to ruffle his hair when challenged
Although Boris Johnson will miss today’s Commons third Heathrow runway vote, hoping to swerve his promise to lie in front of the bulldozers, the UK has told him as the work won’t start yet he can do the right thing when he gets home.
An online petition for him to do so was signed by over 250,000 people within three hours of being launched. “I’ll give him a lift to Heathrow day or night, I’ve even got a groundsheet for him to lie on.” said Carly Jeffrey, a teaching assistant from Harold who started the petition. “Though lying is something he’s rather good at, anytime, anywhere. Of course he’ll have to sit in the back.” she added “Not behind me. Continue reading
Left a bit!
After initial fierce opposition, England’s druids are reported to be ‘coming round’ to controversial new plans to build London’s fourth airport within a few metres of the ancient monument of Stonehenge.
After the recent closure of the nearby main road, hopes were high that the sacred area would at last be returned to its ancient glory. These hopes were cruelly dashed by the immediate announcement that the space formerly taken by the road would actually be dedicated to a 5km concrete runway, long enough to service the largest long-haul airliners and significantly ease the congestion of London’s other airports.
In a bid to increase tourism into the village, Harold Tourist Board (HTA) have applied to BAA to have a major airport renamed. With the tradition of airports being named after a place they are nowhere near, the HTA are looking to change a well-known airport to Harold Heathrow.
“We have been looking at ways to increase the amount of foreign visitors coming to the village on holiday” the HTA said in a statement. “Someone suggested building an airport and calling it London Harold, but that would have been far too expensive. Continue reading