The proud new building should stand for at least another 10 years and 1 month.
David Cameron has saved £7bn on the cost of restoring the Houses of Parliament, by granting the contract to China.
For the mere informality of signing over the freehold, politicians will have somewhere to sit for the next 99 years.
“This is excellent news for the UK tax payer”, said Cameron. “They’re even throwing in a big ‘tribute’ iWatch to replace Big Ben.”
David Cameron is to address the EU today to remind them that in Britain just because you are a top earner doesn’t mean you should contribute more.
The prime minister is making the speech in reaction to the EU’s insistence that owing to Britain’s economy earning more than forecast, it should have to pay the same percentage contribution on the higher amount in.
The Home Secretary and the Prime Minister: run from them as you would the wolf.
Bună ziua şi Bine Aţi Venit la Marea Britanie!
Hello and welcome to Britain our new Romanian friends! If certain tabloids are to be believed then fully one hundred percent of you moved in shortly after midnight. To help smooth your transition from your old country to your new we have put together this handy list of the top ten things you need to know. Print it out, carry it with you at all times and consult it often.
Good luck and nu vă lăsaţi-i pe nenorociţi vă macină în jos. Continue reading
Pastry, potatoes, beef, swede and onion. You can’t beat that, Ronald McDonald.
David Cameron has flown to Beijing with a delegation of high achieving Brits to beg China to love the UK more than it loves the US. On his knees on the tarmac at Beijing Capital Airport the Prime Minister said “Britain will act as China’s strongest advocate in the West” before promising “dialogue of mutual respect and understanding” as well as a blind eye turned to all China’s abuses of human rights and the environment, and at least five more seasons of Downton Abbey.
“China should be our bestie not that of those across pond,” Cameron said. “What has the Untied States ever done for the world? We’ve given it the Cornish pasty, Fifty Shades of Grey and the tuning fork: no contest.” Continue reading
In a tragic accident, Britain’s first lady thatcher died this morning while working on the roof of Rose Cottage in the village of Harold.
Witnesses say Margaret Dennis appeared to be surprised by the sound of gunshot coming from all directions, which turned out to be a gun salute from a ceremonial funeral being watched on TV by half the village’s inhabitants. Continue reading