Thatcher falls off roof and dies



In a tragic accident, Britain’s first lady thatcher died this morning while working on the roof of Rose Cottage in the village of Harold.

Witnesses say Margaret Dennis appeared to be surprised by the sound of gunshot coming from all directions, which turned out to be a gun salute from a ceremonial funeral being watched on TV by half the village’s inhabitants.

Shouting ‘No, no, no,’ in a reedy voice, she found herself without support and was left clutching at straws as she fell from a lofty peak to an all-time career low, dying shortly afterwards from brain injuries.

Early in her career, Margaret became known for refusing to buy reeds grown traditionally in a nearby large canal, opting instead to buy from private suppliers in the open market, a stand which became known as taking on the Grand Union.

Margaret’s free-market roofs were not universally popular and some competitors even tried to burn her creations with matches, but she fearlessly took on vestad interests and won.

Her funeral will take place next week.

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