Dress rehearsal for Queen’s funeral was lovely, says Charles

Piss off Charlie

Piss off Charlie

Prince Charles, heir to the Throne for 60 years, is said to be very impressed at how well today’s dress rehearsal for the Queen’s funeral went.

“One couldn’t help but notice how smoothly things went” said Prince Charles. “On the evidence of today’s dress rehearsal, there is no reason why one’s mother’s funeral couldn’t take place as early as next Tuesday. One will have to work things around lunch at the Dorchester though.”

The Prince of Wales said he was a little disappointed to hear booing along the parade route, but that the odd disgruntled republican was no reason to put off the big day any longer than was necessary, which was next Tuesday.

“Another minor point was that the constant ‘ding, donging’ of the bells at St Paul’s seemed to confuse some of the scruffier elements of the crowd – they kept on shouting “which is dead”, very poor grammar if one is completely honest. Still, with a bit of practice they should get it right by next Tuesday.”

Prince Charles said he would talk things over with the Queen tonight, as he cooked her his signature reheated chicken dish, with essence of campylobacter.

“One will ask her to clear her diary for next Tuesday, in fact clear her diary for every day after next Tuesday. One can’t wait for next Tuesday. Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday.”

A St Paul’s spokesman said that while bookings of the Cathedral are not normally made public, he can indicate that a very excited 64 year old male has booked St Paul’s for next Tuesday.

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