With only 100 days until what is expected by nobody to be a closely fought general election, both Labour leader Ed Miliband and his Lib Dem rival, Nick Clegg have stated how excited they are at the prospect of a further 100 days remaining in charge of their respective parties.
Mr Miliband, talking at a conference on how to make speeches that sound good but say absolutely nothing of value, in Bridlington, said ‘Let me be absolutely clear about this. With 100 days left in office. I am certain. That if I concentrate really hard. I have sufficient time. To develop. The kind of resignation speech. That will not only boost economic recovery. But will be right for hard working families of Britain. Going forward. Into the. Next parliament. And beyond’.
Meanwhile Nick Clegg interviewed outside a self store and office removals company near Westminster said ‘What the last 5 years has proved, is that the Liberal Democrat Party can be trusted with the great issues of government, such as arranging the catering at cabinet meetings, feeding the Prime Minister’s cat while he’s away on important business, but most of all, ensuring the people of Britain always know that the vital issues of national security and anti-terror legislation can be debated in rooms where the bins are regularly, efficiently, liberally and democratically emptied’.
With only 101 days left until the new party leaders are sworn in, both Ed Balls and Vince cable remain tight lipped, and red faced as they desperately try not to laugh too loudly.