A team of ants working from a sandpit in Harold claim to have mastered the ability to fly.
Standing next to a prototype stuck to a cough sweet, chief engineer Brian Pharoah unveiled the new ‘flying ant’, before denying that the design may have been used before.
“Of course there are stories about our ancestors soaring into the clouds, and doing battle with those upstart b**tard wasps”, said Pharoah.
“My dad used to say my great, great, great, great grandmother embracing a sort of rudimentary ability to flap, but it’s clearly untrue”, he insisted. “According to my calculations that would make the world over 364 days old.”
Some have even suggested their current queen ‘fell from the sky’, a theory Pharoah dismisses as heresy.
Pharoah’s contraption looks like a slightly larger ant, but features wings protruding at right-angles from the thorax.
“Isn’t she a beauty? No longer will our kind be beaten to the picnics, this contraption will make the sleekest hornets look as outdated as moths.”
Pharoah has ordered 150,000 of his new design to be built, with the first wave set to launch once a drone brings word of scotch eggs. “Then the sky will turn black with our brilliance, the world will cower before us”, he communicated by pheromones. “I’d like to see you bring these down, armed only with kettles.”
Pharoah refused to comment on rumours that the wings had fallen off the first production model, or that its inaugural flight had been laughed at by several daddy longlegs.
“I’m afraid I missed it, I couldn’t find my way to the airfield”, admitted Pharoah. “I think some children must have put a stick on the path.”