Israel has stepped up its ground offensive in Gaza following intelligence reports that Hamas is stockpiling dragon eggs in schools and hospitals.
“We believe this to be totally credible information,” said Benjamin Netanyahu. “We’ve also learned that Hamas all have tails and are responsible for Freddos no longer costing only ten pence.”
“It may just be dragon eggs at the moment,” he said. “But Israel has the right to find and destroy them before they hatch. This is self-defence. Well, ourselves-and-billions-upon-billions-of-dollars-of-US-funding-and-weapons-defence but my point remains the same.”
Hamas spokesman Osama Hamdan was quick to deny that Hamas had any dragon making capability. “Not us, no way. Maybe Palestinian Islamic Jihad have some, they’re more into that sort of thing.” he said. “Mind you, I’m not saying we couldn’t use a few dragons because to be quite frank our rockets are crap.”