Tag Archives: Tory conference

Theresa May launches her new image: “I have a dream today!”

may3purple

The Prime Minister decides against “blacking up”, until voters get used to her new image

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for rich right wing old people in the history of our nation.

Five score and six days ago, the only voters we now give a rat’s arse about, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, declared that there was no such thing as Europe.

This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of working class people who will now be even easier to manipulate. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their perceived captivity to Brussels and released them to a world where they only have themselves, and certainly not us, to blame.

I have a dream that one day  Continue reading

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Filed under Civil rights, News, Politics

Chancellor: Tory borrowing to invest is “completely different” from Labour borrowing to invest

hammond

Our borrowing and spending is different from Labour’s because reasons

Philip Hammond says that his planned spending on infrastructure is wise and pragmatic, unlike Labour’s planned spending on infrastructure, which is another example of failed left-wing idealogy.

“We’ll build homes,” he said “where Labour planned to piss taxpayers’ money up the wall by building homes. We’ll improve transport links, where Labour planned to spunk away hard working families’ cash Continue reading

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Filed under Deficit, Economy, News, Politics

Osborne warned against yachting holidays after Maxwellising Local Government pensions

george-osborne-looking-mad

89 different local government pension funds, that’s just over a hundred.

The Chancellor of the Exchequer has promised to bring tried-and-tested private sector pension-fiddling to the public sector.

Mr Osborne’s Conservative conference speech today was peppered with trademark off-the-cuff humorous quips and interrupted by literally seconds of applause, from up to a dozen of his audience at a time.

“I’ve found new ways to fund the British infrastructure.” he told a spellbound audience. “We’ve 89 different local government pension funds, that’s just over a hundred. Continue reading

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Filed under Economy, News, Politics