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Dashcam videos replace holiday snaps as top reason not to visit neighbours

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Compilation videos of three and half hours of ‘hilarious’ minor traffic offences are the reason some people will have no visitors this Christmas.

That’s the claim of a report that found a causal link between dashcam ownership and self-righteous, pompous behaviour.

“In the past, once the sherry glasses had been handed out, you knew you were in for endless photo albums that showed Simon and Heather have better holidays than us”, said Harold’s Nigel Hostage.

“But now, it’s clips of their neighbour crossing a single white line, or stopping with their rear wheels in a box junction”, sighed Hostage. “From the evidence of this film, it’s clear they followed her all the way to Devon.”
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Atheists urged to stop believing in Richard Dawkins


Dawkins claimed such a situation was statistically improbable.

Atheist parents should stop reading Richard Dawkins to their children, in case they grow up thinking the world isn’t magical.

That’s the advice being given by a leading pagan, who thinks religion is OK as long as it involves drinking, dancing and some really cool tricks.

‘Although Richard is real, there’s a lot about him that’s unbelievable’ said Nigel Pendragon, a self-styled druid and ukulele enthusiast. ‘Most youngsters wouldn’t seriously think that anyone was such a joyless monster.  If you thought church was dull, wait until you bump into Dawkins at a Christmas party. He’ll go on and on about evergreens, Romans and turkeys.’
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