Tag Archives: Sochi 2014

by | February 26, 2014 · 11:34 am

Uganda now anti-gay enough to hold Winter Olympics, say IOC

uganda_anti-gayAfter a busy few days where Uganda’s President signed new laws making homosexuality punishable by life in prison, and Ugandan tabloid Red Pepper published a list of 200 alleged gays, the IOC announced that Uganda is now the front-runner to host the 2022 Winter Olympics.

IOC President Thomas Bach said that the Sochi Winter Olympics was a very passable festival of homophobia without quite living up to Vladimir Putin’s hype. The 2018 games in Pyeongchang would likely also be successful given South Korea’s track record of discrimination against gays. But the 2022 Ugandan Winter Olympics promises to be an unprecedented orgy of homosexual intolerance.
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by | February 8, 2014 · 11:45 am

Putin shows inclusiveness by engaging in gay sex at Opening Ceremony – backfires when his ring fails to open

The rehearsal went fine

The rehearsal went fine

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by | February 7, 2014 · 11:00 am

Winter Olympics and smug Facebook posts about boycotting them begin

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Look how hard it is to boycott something that’s on at 5:00 am.

As the Winter Olympics are officially opened in Sochi this afternoon it heralds the start not just of days of thrilling winter sports but also of people posting smug Facebook updates about not watching them.

We asked one such poster why they felt the need to do this. “I want everyone to know that I’m really aware of gay rights and stuff,” replied Harold resident Jason Beesley. “Plus if I come across as sensitive maybe women will want to sleep with me.” Continue reading →

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by | February 6, 2014 · 10:57 am

Olympics shock: ‘Mo Farah may never win another medal’

Mo Farah celebrates winning the men's 5,000m final at the European Championships in Helsinki in June

Please don’t try this at home. Or in Rio. Please.

Plans to rationalise Olympic judging will see many of this month’s winter games’ scoring systems being adopted at the proper Olympics in Rio 2016. “Here in Sochi, how good you look is at least  as important as the more workaday factors such as speed and distance.” says IOC President Thomas Bach “I’m not sure about girth though, let me get back to you on that”.

“Ski jumping for instance is assessed on ‘style’ during take-off, flight and landing, plus a small proportion of marks allocated for distance actually travelled.” Continue reading →

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by | January 22, 2014 · 2:30 pm

Winter Olympics: heavy-handed outreach project forces ski jump on village primary school

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St Mary’s Primary School ski jump as seen from Harold’s recreation ground. On a clear day if you stand at the top you can just make out Dunstable’s dreaming spires.

Villagers in Harold are getting increasingly angry over the ski jump that was forced upon the local primary school. Denounced as an eyesore it was built despite strong local protest in what some are calling an exceptionally heavy-handed grass roots campaign to get more children competing in winter sports. Continue reading →

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