Tag Archives: Pippa Middleton

Pippa Middleton royal-estates the bleeding obvious

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Next week: how to use your mouth to do a smile.

In a new regular column, Pippa Middleton passes on invaluable etiquette tips dealing with your day-to-day, worthless lives.

“Hullo!

“I’m Pippa Middleton, sister of Kate Middleton, but it doesn’t do to mention that too often in conversation. It can look like you’re showing off, which of course isn’t acceptable in posh circles. And I should know, because I don’t half move in some!

“Some people I once knew but am now well above socially sometimes ask me ‘how do you do it?’ Well, some are born nearly royal, some achieve near-royalness, and some have near royalness thrust upon them.

“And some are a combination of all three. That’s a pretty special circumstance, and one which puts me in a unique position for sharing tips with you, so you can pretend to be nearly as near-royal as what one is. Today’s advice is about ‘breakfast’. Read on!
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Pippa Middleton humanely destroyed after fall at Grand National

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Pippa Middleton’s arse: we shall not see its like again

There were sad scenes at Aintree today as the Grand National claimed another victim. Unusually the tragedy did not take place at Beechers Brook but in the Royal Enclosure when Pippa Middleton who was wearing stylish but vertiginous high heels, took a tumble and broke her left buttock.

Senior Royals looked on dispassionately while race officials quickly erected a tarpaulin screen around Ms Middleton and she was swiftly and humanely dispatched.

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