Tag Archives: Lynton Crosby

Cameron accused of cronyism after pigs dominate Honours List

“For political service”

David Cameron has been accused of ‘tainting’ the New Year’s Honours List, after it emerged that the majority of honours recipients are actually pigs who have ‘done favours’ for the Conservative Party.

It is traditional for the political party in power to reward those donors who have paid handsomely for the privilege, but the sheer scale of the pig count this year was a surprise to many. Of the 1196 names on the list, 874 were found on close inspection to be members of the pig family, including 68 wild boars and a warthog.

Most of these were knighted, but a sizeable contingent received OBEs, while the warthog was made a Dame.

It is believed that every single ennobled pig was connected romantically in some way with a Conservative minister, with the exception of ‘Wilbur’ from Charlotte’s Web, who was made a Lord on the strength of his charity work. Continue reading

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Soap opera suicide: tears as Coalition Street character kills themselves

nick-clegg-sad

Sad but inevitable. The Nick Clegg character had long ceased to be useful.

Viewers of the soap opera Coalition Street are advised to have the tissues handy for tonight’s episode which promises to be a serious tearjerker as Nick Clegg will be seen choosing assisted suicide over annihilation at the next general election. Continue reading

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