Blair acts on his personal commandment, “thou shalt not listen”
“It’s not very often I can sympathise with terrorists, other than the killing innocent people thing, but having one million people marching through the street is something they should ignore,” Mr Blair said. Continue reading
After days of terror where gangs of cats peed in neighbour’s gardens and bailed up dogs while the cats owners chanted ‘cats are great!’, moderate cat ladies have been urged to condemn extremist cat ladies.
The attacks seemed to be in retaliation to an unflattering depiction of a cat in the latest issue of the Harold Kennel Club’s monthly magazine, but most villagers say a poorly drawn cat by a dog owner can never be an excuse for a feline rampage.
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Filed under Around Harold, breaking news, Law and Order
Business booming for Jesus Charlie
A loose coalition of dyslexics, failed French students, owners of phones with sticky ‘i’ keys, and Americans attempting to join the ‘Je suis Charlie’ campaign is thought to be behind the surge in Jesus Charlie’s Twitter and Facebook followers, though Mr Charlie says that isn’t the sole reason.
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Filed under breaking news, International News
Pens have been warned they face trial for committing war crimes. Through their ability to produce an army of words and pictures, the weapons of wordsmiths and cartoonists stand accused of upsetting people’s sensibilities, a crime so heinous it provokes murder.
Also in the dock are the co-accused: pencils, colour, and words. Many fear that although it is necessary to stop these weapons of mass thought production in their tracks, doing so will lead to even more radicalised crayons.
“Firing an indiscriminate barrage of words directly into people heads is as dangerous as war,” prosecutors said.
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Filed under International News, News, Politics
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