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Pens face trial over war crimes

Pens have been warned they face trial for committing war crimes. Through their ability to produce an army of words and pictures, the weapons of wordsmiths and cartoonists stand accused of upsetting people’s sensibilities, a crime so heinous it provokes murder.

Also in the dock are the co-accused: pencils, colour, and words. Many fear that although it is necessary to stop these weapons of mass thought production in their tracks, doing so will lead to even more radicalised crayons.

“Firing an indiscriminate barrage of words directly into people heads is as dangerous as war,” prosecutors said.
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