Tag Archives: EC

Refugee tragedy: search widened in hunt for someone to blame


Another person of no fixed address is spotted.

Members of the EC have called an emergency search and rescue meeting, to look for some safe moral highground.

Reputations have been dashed like a small dinghy against a rescue ship, but so far, no-one else has been found responsible for the deaths of hundreds of refugees.

“We thought of blaming the victims, but that didn’t go down well at all”, said Jean-Claude Juncker. “So now we’re hoping to target the people smugglers.”

“But they insist they are only responding to market forces and that someone else created the demand in the first place. And quite frankly, that’s outside of our remit.”
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EC gives AA energy rating to beards


EC scientists claim Darwin was ‘carbon neutral’.

Facial hair could soon become compulsory, after Brussels tested a range of beards for energy efficiency.

Experts measured thermal insulation, wet performance and harmful emissions from a selection of chin enhancements, using a delapidated woman as a control.

“That was due to a translation error, but we stand by our results”, said depilatory scientist André Rhesus. “Even a frigid climate sceptic would recognise I’m much hotter with this stubble.”

While a Fu Manchu and a lip-clump only managed a ‘B’ rating, double-A was achieved by a full-on Brian Blessed.
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Filed under environment, Fashion, science, Technology