Tag Archives: Christmas speech

Eddie’s Christmas Speech


“Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” Benjamin Franklin

This past year has been an interesting one for The Squirrel Lickers and I. We have welcomed many new drinkers, especially on tribute nites, and have been witness to a wonderful array of evenings full of fellowship and friendship.

Sadly this year also brought with it some trials both literally (I don’t care that he’s my brother-in-law he was bang out of order and the judge agreed) and emotionally when The Squirrel Lickers become the first pub ever to get a negative score on a hygiene inspection. That was an especial disappointment as I had taken great care to both greet the inspectors and to bribe them handsomely. Even providing thick slices of the famous Harold Pie lovingly created from an ancient recipe and featuring no less than fourteen types of plants and wildlife that today hover on the brink of extinction due to mass over-consumption plus several others now regrettably reclassified as toxic.

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One is feckin’ sacked: Queen ditched from Christmas speech and replaced by Mrs Brown


Agnes Brown pictured looking happier than Her Majesty ever does.

There have been howls of outrage from traditionalists this morning following the BBC’s announcement that it has scrapped the Queen’s Christmas Day speech in favour of one from Mrs Agnes Brown instead.

“We’re not dumbing down or chasing ratings,” said Tony Hall, Director General of the BBC. “Times are tough for a lot of people so we thought it would be more appropriate for them to be addressed by a feisty lower-class housewife with a twinkle in her eye rather than a fabulously rich monarch whose television manner is as cold as the battlements of the castle she’s filmed in.” Continue reading

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