Tag Archives: Chancellor of the Exchequer

by | November 23, 2016 · 11:54 am

Autumn Statement build-up “ruined” by reporter standing outside No.10 Downing Street

giles-dilnot

Dilnot, ruining everything for the nation. It’s number 11, you idiot!

The TV news build-up to the Chancellor’s Autumn Statement was ruined for many today, when a BBC reporter stood outside Number 10 Downing St. in error.

Alec Fairchild, a man who usually gets his political insight from the Mail and Sky News, tuned into BBC today, by mistake, and was completely thrown by finding himself staring at Theresa May’s front door.

“Typical bloody lefty BBC, all that public money and they still can’t get it right,” fumed Fairchild, a pub bore from Harold. “this is exactly why I don’t pay the licence fee.” Continue reading →

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by | October 3, 2016 · 12:44 pm

Chancellor: Tory borrowing to invest is “completely different” from Labour borrowing to invest

hammond

Our borrowing and spending is different from Labour’s because reasons

Philip Hammond says that his planned spending on infrastructure is wise and pragmatic, unlike Labour’s planned spending on infrastructure, which is another example of failed left-wing idealogy.

“We’ll build homes,” he said “where Labour planned to piss taxpayers’ money up the wall by building homes. We’ll improve transport links, where Labour planned to spunk away hard working families’ cash Continue reading →

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by | August 27, 2013 · 7:00 am

Exclusive interview: George Osborne admits political career is a joke

Pity him, for he knows not what he does

Pity him, for he knows not what he does

George Osborne has admitted that his political career which saw him rise from new MP to Chancellor of the Exchequer in just nine years is the result of a joke that has gotten out of hand.

“It was a gag between chums when I was at uni,” Osborne, heir to the baronetcy of Ballentaylor and Ballylemon said. “We used to ask each other ‘what can George do?’ And because the closest I’d ever got to being good with money was palling around with Nat Rothschild in the Bullingdon Club it became a sort of tease: wouldn’t it be mad if George became Chancellor? And then I did.” Continue reading →

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