Tag Archives: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi

by | February 15, 2015 · 2:03 pm

Isis leader says end goal is a Caliphate of one

lego-terrorist

We don’t know who created this Lego Islamic extremist but our hat is off to them

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, leader of Isis, has said that his end goal is a global Caliphate consisting of himself.

“Once I’ve excluded/killed women, everyone who’s LGBT, Jews, non-believers, anyone who looks at me funny, Jews again just to make sure, and all those who refuse to acknowledge that Christopher Eccelstone was the best Doctor Who there aren’t many people left,” he said in a statement released today. Continue reading →

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by | June 24, 2014 · 11:00 am

Jihadists take over refinery; introduce Lean Manufacturing and Flexible Working

isis

Some have criticised Jihadist management techniques as ‘crude’.

Islamic insurgents who took over an oil refinery in Iraq are confident they ‘have what it takes’ to run the plant efficiently.

ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi addressed his associates, while clutching an AK-47 and a Six Sigma training manual.

“Allah Akbar, change management is great”, said al-Baghdadi. “This new agile way of working will value all partners equally, especially those infidels who have relevant engineering qualifications.”

Al-Baghdadi explained how his first initiative was to introduce a flat management structure. “I did this by entering the boardroom and gunning everyone down, and then leaving the bodies to lay on the floor. It was a frank but constructive meeting, we do not have a blame culture.”
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