Woman claims not to have been groped by Donald Trump

make america grope again

What a tosser, though, really.

In the biggest shock yet to the 2016 Presidential race, an unidentified woman has come forward claiming not to have been ever groped or inappropriately touched by Republican candidate Donald Trump.

Masie Renfrew, 48, a dental hygienist from Brooklyn, claimed to sceptical journalists that she shared an elevator with Trump in 1986 without being molested by the bewigged octopus.

“He just sort of stood there looking at me out of the corner of his eye,” explained Renfrew. “He seemed to twitch slightly, but that could just have been the wig blowing in the air con. Then I got out, and he hadn’t done anything, I was shocked.”

“I supposed I’m lucky I was only going one floor.”

Trump’s campaign manager Barry Fumble admitted the news was a “great shock”, but said it was too early to say whether it would have a major impact on the campaign.

“We always thought that there might be someone out there with a bombshell like this, but it’s too early to say how the voters will take it.”

“Personally, I think people will be happy that there is a chance, however slim, that Donald won’t grope them.”

“Of course it’s too late for me, but some of you might be lucky.”

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