Peter Mandelson: intensely unrelaxed about democracy
It emerged late last night that Lord Mandelson involved himself in the Hogwarts House Cup by urging three houses to resign en mass in order to suspend the contest and prevent the left wing Gryffindor house from winning.
Mandelson, a Slytherin and close confident of Lord Tonymort whom he helped rise to power in 1997, is understood to have contacted the heads of each of the three houses and ordered them to resign on the grounds that a bunch of left-wingers winning something made him feel “all clammy and alarmed as it should any proud Labour member who truly embraces our party’s history and ideals.”
Rumours that he’s gearing up to use Avada Kedavra on Gryffindor hero Jeremy Potter, confident that his friends in high places will cover up for him, remain persistent but as yet unconfirmed.
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