A local woman has been left dazed by the revelation that most of her friends are as much good to her as tits on a fish.
Cassie Fine, 35, owner of Harold geek shop Dungeons and More Dungeons, said that she came to this conclusion while scrolling her Facebook newsfeed.
“In amongst all the baby pictures, minion memes and marathon running I realised that many of the individuals I was reading about aren’t friends but people I can’t be bothered to tell to sod off,” she explained. “When you get to my age it’s amazing how the fact that someone knows all the lyrics to the Legend of Prince Valiant no longer binds you together.”
Cassie said that she was going to pull it together and make an effort to get out and meet new people in her community that she could share her current life with very soon, really any day now, honest, but right now she was just going to check Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest…