‘We’re boycotting Amazon’ is the new ‘We don’t have a TV’


Just because someone’s right it doesn’t mean they’re not also terribly annoying

Boycotting Amazon has officially become the new bullseye on the middle class morality dartboard finally ousting claiming not to have a TV.

“It’s taken years,” media and trend analyst Lizzie Philips told us. “But at long last not shopping with Amazon has become the single greatest source of conversational smugness.”

“It had seemed like not owning a TV and/or being vegan were always going to be the top two things a certain type of person wants others to know about them in the shortest time possible but now, thanks to Jeff Bezos clearly being some sort of psychopath, boycotting Amazon is number one.”

Amazon will have to continue nurturing a work environment that would be deemed a bit full on by the demons of Pandæmonium if boycotting it is to remain the top of the good-but-smug charts.

“Oh yes,” said Dr Philips. “There’s already stiff competition from ‘our diet is sugar free, actually’ and one should never discount that perennial contender ‘mindfulness totally changed my life.’”

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