Conspiracy theorists frustrated by bland ‘Black Spider’ letters

princecharles

The slippery bastard didn’t even ask for any paternity tests.

People who assumed Prince Charles was some kind of Machiavellian monster have been irritated by the sheer banality of his letters.

Published under the Freedom of Information Act, the previously secret letters contain nothing more than balanced, intelligent advice.

“It’s annoyed me, I just assumed we’d dig up some dirt”, said paranoia expert Nigel Lampoon. “But it’s all ‘Thanks for supporting my kid’s charity’, ‘please give our soldiers proper equipment’, and ‘I’d quite like to save the albatross’. The inconsiderate bastard.”

“Just look at this! ‘We should clamp down on illegal animal poaching’, ‘please help me kill my ex-wife’, ‘I quite like chips’. There’s nothing here at all to get your teeth into.”

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