Sauron will brood menacingly for 5 minutes without saying a word.
Following Labour’s use of a Hobbit, Nigel Farage has revealed his party will also appeal to Middle England through characters from Middle Earth.
“We’ve got some excellent chaps in UKIP, and amongst the few that can read, we found one who’s actually flicked through a bit of Tolkien”, revealed Farage.
“He tells me it’s a story about how slightly different races aren’t supposed to get on, unless they join together and find a common enemy to pick on.”
Farage also learned that the real hero of the stories is Sauron, which is why he’s signed him up for the next party political broadcast.
“He’s an all-seeing eye who never reveals any of his policies, but we instinctively know he wants to kick out all the Hobbitsies”, Farage announced.
“That’s something we can all relate to, isn’t it? It doesn’t do to talk very much. Better to scowl from our tower and get someone else to do the dirty work.”
Bilbo Baggins wasn’t the first ex-hobbit to present a political broadcast: Gollum stood in for the Lib Democrats when Vince Cable wasn’t available.
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