Lib Dems launch election campaign: nation consumed by joy


“Nick! Nick! Nick!”

Gathering places all over the UK are today thronged with delirious well-wishers do due to the Lib Dems officially launching their election campaign.

“It’s what we’ve all been waiting for,” yelled a drunken reveller in the crowd at Trafalgar Square. “The Lib Dems on the streets, promising anything and everything so they can stay in power.”

“I’ve got so much respect for Nick Clegg,” a woman stopped dancing in the fountains just long enough to tell us. “The way he said all that stuff in 2010, then joined the government and went back on all of it. Genius! Top bants!”

“It’s the Lib Dems’ sense of humour I love,” said one of the million flag wavers thronging The Mall hoping that Clegg and Danny Alexander would appear on Buckingham Palace’s balcony and delight the crowd with a little kiss. “Today Nick Clegg said ‘we have shown that you don’t need to choose between a stronger economy and a fairer society. With Liberal Democrats in government you can have both’ – and I’ve not stopped laughing since.”


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