In an independent Scotland it will always be winter but never Christmas, says Gordon Brown

Glasgow city centre July 2015 if the Yes campaign prevails

Eerie reminder to be careful what you wish for; Gordon Brown has issued a dire warning aimed at those intending to vote for Scotland to become independent. Speaking at an event in support of the Better Together campaign the former Prime Minister announced that in an independent Scotland it will always be winter but never Christmas. He also claimed that inequality and poverty could “survive until doomsday”.

Brown shared the platform with Better Together’s spokesbadger Alistair Darling who had dire predictions of what exactly life would be like in an independent Scotland.

“It will be a tough life, it will be a hard life,” he said. “Citizens will have to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night half an hour before they go to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill over for permission to come to work, and when they get home, Alex Salmond will kill them and dance about on their graves singing Hallelujah.”

In response Alex Salmond dismissed these claims as well as Gordon Brown’s insistence that for their own safety England and Wales would have to separate themselves from an independent Scotland by building a seven-hundred foot wall of ice along the entire border as “fantasy”.

The referendum takes place on September 18th and so far rumours that the wolves are running remain persistent in the Better Together camp but unconfirmed.