Man Utd obtains super injunction to supress reporting of seasons results

Manchester United reacted to its poor start to the season by obtaining a super injunction in the High Court to supress all mention of its results.

Assistant Manager Ryan Giggs justified the super injunction saying that a number of Man U players and coaching staff were very highly paid professionals, and their reputations could be ruined if it emerged that the team had lost, say by four goals, to some 3rd tier team or other.

“We should be allowed to play in privacy, and not have intimate details of goals scored against us splashed about the tabloids” said Giggs. “We need to protect our impressionable young fans and our rich London glory supporters.”

Giggs, who vehemently denies ever visiting Milton Keynes, said the super injunction is not draconian.

“Media and fans will still be able to talk about the club’s 13 Premiership titles, and numerous FA cups and Champions League titles, most of which I was involved in. People can shout from the rooftops about my 2009 Player of the Year award if they want to” said Giggs.

“The only actual legal restriction is mentioning this season’s results. Of course the media can suppress other details if they want, like that I’m the assistant manager of this rag-tag bunch of no-hopers and that I have a brother.”