Labour to re-nationalise buffet cars

Labour leader Ed Miliband has announced his plans to re-nationalise parts of the rail network’s buffet cars. In an attempt to bring some price controls into the market he has said any government run buffet cars would have a price cap on egg mayo sandwiches.

“We need to put to an end the unreliable service that sees passengers paying over the odds for a cup of scalding hot instant coffee that ends up of the train floor and the passenger’s lap,” Miliband said.

“We need to bring the standard of train food to the same level as other government run institutions such as the NHS and Schools, but it’s not all bad news.

“Any children paying £170 for a ticket who are from impoverished families will be able to have free train dinners.”

The move has been welcomed by the unions with their leaders seeing it as a compromise to full re-nationalisation of the entire rail network.

Acting general secretary of the RMT union Mike Cash has welcomed the news saying he is excited by the thought of bringing the ‘trolley dollies’ on smaller trains in the public sector.

“Obviously we will need to look at staffing levels if those pushing the snack trolley up and down the train become fully paid-up members,” he explained

“As well as the person operating the trolley we will require a health and safety representative, someone to help with the inevitable extra paper work, a union steward, and a dedicated trainer on every train.”

Mr Cash then went on to explain: “The result of all these extra staff mean extra sandwiches will need to be carried to cater for them, meaning an increased workload for the trolley staff, which will be unacceptable and see us ballot our members on strike action.”

Mr Miliband was visibly excited by the plan but was warned against posing for the press eating a state owned bacon sandwich.

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One Response to Labour to re-nationalise buffet cars

  1. ROFL.
    Stop it Harold. You’re in danger of converting me to vote Labour in 2015…