Miliband to create a more educated and skilled unemployed

20140619-162447-59087849.jpgEd Miliband has announced Labour’s plans for welfare reform should they get into government at the general election.

Concentrating on those claiming Jobseekers Allowance he has promised Britain will have the most skilled and educated unemployed in Europe.

“I will make sure that before people can claim JSA they are educated to A-Level or equivalent. Some people think it will make no difference with cheap labour coming from abroad, but that shouldn’t temper our ambitions.

“We want to go from a nation of unskilled unemployed people to a nation of skilled unemployed people moaning that the poles have taken all their jobs”

Among the proposals were plans to ensure those who may have only worked for two years before being employed get less than someone who has worked for ten years.

Asked if this was to add a degree of perceived fairness to the system, Miliband seemed genuinely confused.

“Fairness may be a unintended side affect, but the real reason is much simpler. I have spent ages developing a catchphrase that isn’t ‘cracking cheese, Gromit’ that people remember me for. If things get better for everybody, I lose it.

“So by making sure those who start with less, get less, I’m safe I the knowledge he will have a ‘cost of living crisis’ I can bang on about.”

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