Charity shop full of unwanted England flags mistaken for BNP headquarters

charity shop

Some shop visitors find a flag in their size.

With England as good as out of the World Cup, a charity shop in Harold has been mistaken for a BNP outlet after receiving hundreds of old, unwanted England flags.

Doris Kettle works in the store for a few hours a week, and has been staggered by the response.

“Normally we find it hard to find volunteers, but since Friday morning we’ve been inundated with fat, tattooed, shaven headed men asking if they can sign up to ‘help the cause'”, revealed Kettle.

“Now that we have 15 on every shift I’m a bit scared to tell them the money goes to poor Africans.”

Kettle admitted it was unfortunate that the deluge of flags coincided with a sponsored head-shaving event, which added to the confusion.

“They just saw some bald pates and wandered in. They seemed to approve of the posters of starving children in the Sudan, but not in the way we’d hoped”, she explained. “I don’t like to mention it really, but I think some of them might be a teeny bit racist.”

Kettle told us that the new staff had taken a lot of interest in the stock, quickly buying up all the china bulldogs. “One young chap spent ages with a rectangular object, trying to work out how to open it. He said he hadn’t seen one before, and asked me what it was for”, she said.

“It was sweet really, I just assumed everyone knew how to use a book.”

Doris Kettle and the other staff have decided not to explain the confusion, as takings have never been so high. “Since Ukip’s success there’s more appetite for giving money to the far-right than to starving kids.”


Filed under Around Harold, Business, charity, Sport

3 Responses to Charity shop full of unwanted England flags mistaken for BNP headquarters

  1. Wit as sharp as a razor! Ouch!lol Ouch lol I love the skilful characterisations. GOAL repeat GOAL. So so funny. rofl