George spots something remarkable, impressing even the staunchest of republicans.
Supreme heir to the throne Baby George Alexander Louis Windsor has visited his submarine fleet and made several improvements.
Admirals were impressed with his bawdy jokes and knowledge of naval strategy. George then gazed at a shiny object while attendees took notes, ate a rusk and scowled intelligently as he imperiously shat himself.
“His royal Georgeness was an inspiration to us all”, said a seaman who wasn’t too scared to speak his mind. “He has lovely hair and isn’t all that fat.”
George then explained how to plot a course on a maritime chart using drool and a toy zebra, which caused the empire to discover a new island made of rainbows and unicorns.
The gathered press all agreed that the actions of the future leader was a powerful deterrent to the enemies of his land. The public will feel safer now, even those that can’t afford to eat.
Meanwhile in Korea a chubby Kim Jong-un attempted to walk for the first time, without the help of a crowd of handlers telling him which leg to stick out next. Political observers noted that he looked like a privileged, wobbly idiot.
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