Although he is the bookies’ favourite for a top honour, David Beckham has revealed that he may reject a knighthood if it was offered to him on the grounds that his pouty wife, Victoria, feels that the “Lady” title has been devalued after being conferred upon Lady Gaga.
Speaking at the launch of ‘The Class of ‘92’, a film in which some stupidly rich footballers return to school to learn basic mathematics to enable them to count their vast millions, the best footballer ever admitted that his iconic designer wife had misgivings about becoming just plain Lady Beckham.
Sporting a new tattoo, in the shape of a potato as a tribute to Wayne Rooney, the best looking man ever admitted that his reluctance to accept a knighthood wasn’t due to the fact that it may have become tainted following awards to Jimmy Savile and Fred Goodwin but because Victoria felt being elevated to the same level as Lady Gaga suggested that she was currently beneath the outrageously weird songstress.
“Victoria thinks the Government got it all wrong when they gave a title to that Gaga woman,” he said with reporters hanging on every cockney word. “She says Mister Cameron was just pandering to the masses, although I must admit I don’t know what pandas have got to do with it. But Victoria is very brainy so if she thinks the masses need pandas then she must be right.”
Behind the scenes it is believed the Beckhams’ people are deep in negotiations with Whitehall officials who are anxious to please the ‘celebrity royalty’ couple. It is rumoured that a Dukedom cannot be ruled out as the Government believes that inviting David and Victoria to accept the throne would be a popular move should William and Kate screw things up.
Privately, David has welcomed the idea of becoming a Duke. Insiders say he would be really chuffed to be elevated to the same level as his childhood hero, John Wayne.