Fraud suspected as new wind turbine found to be ‘full of AA batteries’

battery wind farm

Supplier insists wind turbine is ‘for novelty use only’

Harold’s green credentials were called into doubt last night, as the controversial village wind turbine finally ran out of puff.

Despite the vast cost of the equipment and 3 years of legal wrangling with local pressure groups, the windmill was only operable for 40 minutes before an engineer had to be called.

Norwegian wind experts Flattus were quickly on the scene and proceeded to remove panels from the lower sections of the tower. But a quick-eyed junior cameraman from the Evening Harold snapped the guts of the equipment, revealing an estimated 40,000 AA batteries being used to power the fan.

Standing 300ft tall in the centre of the community cricket pitch, the vast monument to sustainable power was erected using PTA funds and the entire council budget for social services.

Cllr Ron Ronsson personally switched on the tower, intended to provide underfloor heating for Harold’s struggling high street. But within minutes shoppers were complaining the device wasn’t responsible for local warming.

Flattus are adamant that the device is ‘fit for purpose’ and claim the council ordered from their decorative range. “Ït is perfectly cleâr if yøu bøther to translâte the brochure from the öriginal Nørwegian”, claimed a spokesman.

Flattus assured the community that the fan would be operational again in the next few days. They’ve sent an expert to bite it, shake it a bit and rub it between their hands.

Ronsson himself has blamed the weather, claiming it was ‘an ill wind that blew it no good’. “What can I say? The weather is out of our control. Although it’s unfashionable to admit that, in the current climate.”

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