Ed ‘man of the working class’ Miliband to cap the price of Baked Beans


With the plan to cap energy prices not going down as well as expected, Ed Miliband is expected to take a another big gamble and cap the price of Baked Beans.

Ed ‘man of the working class’ Miliband told the Labour conference that his energy plan would save ordinary families £150, meaning the saving from five ‘ordinary family’ houses would be enough to pay for his new £750 conference suit.

Realising his cap may not go to plan, he has decided to cap the price of other ‘poor essentials’ with Baked Beans being first on his hit list.

“For far too long, the big two Baked Beans suppliers have been able to raise their prices without any proper regulation” Mr Miliband told reporters.

“By cutting and capping the price of a tin to 67p, the saving will be huge for those that I imagine can only afford to eat beans on toast.”

“And after Baked Beans it will be other things I think poor people rely on. A cap on chimney sweep uniforms will also be on list, although no doubt the out-of-touch Tories will criticise it.”

Energy companies have reminded the Labour leader that a significant part of energy prices is used to pay the ‘green tax’ he imposed in government.

Sticking to that ‘green’ message, Heinz have been quick to point out that lower prices of beans will encourage more people to eat them, and the well-known effects of excessive beans consumption will create a hole in the ozone layer bigger than the hole in his policies.

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