Ed Miliband to fund benefits rise with Saturday job at Asda

Also willing to collect trolleys if necessary

Also willing to collect trolleys if necessary

Labour has said it will reverse controversial changes to housing benefit if it wins the next election, with the move set to be funded by Ed Miliband taking on a Saturday job working on the checkouts at Asda.

The Labour leader said that the so-called “bedroom tax” was “wrong, iniquitous and not working”, claiming that a commitment to reverse the policy showed that Labour offered a creditable alternative and could make a real difference in government. This comes as great news to fans of unsustainable borrowing.

“The coalition have implemented a change that is penalising disabled people. I am so committed to putting this right that I am willing to work up to six hours a week on the checkouts to provide sufficient funds to reverse their unfair policy.” said Mr Miliband.

“The Conservatives claim that there is a £23 billion  per year benefits bill that needs to be cut? Well I say that all of the £7 an hour that I earn in the Doncaster branch of Asda will go towards this and will easily fund our new policy.”

Critics have said they are concerned that Labour are so proud of having finally settled on a policy that they are rushing it through without properly planning the finances, but Miliband remains defiant.

“People say that this will plunge the country further into debt. They say that once again we have managed to miscalculate sums that a relatively simple four year-old would find easy. But what they don’t realise is that I already have my uniform, I start next week, and the election won’t be until 2015 so I have time to save.”

“£7 an hour, six hours a week for two years. You don’t have to be a maths genius to work out that will account for a couple of billion of extra benefits.”

“In fact, it’s probably best if you’re not a maths genius.”

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