Charles insists on homeopathic birth – 10 more royal baby facts


Here are ten more lesser known facts about the royal birth

  1. Not only will the prince will be 3rd in line to the throne in this country, but he will also be 25th in line to the throne of Abyssinia (now Ethiopia).
  2. The little bundle of joy will have a 10th share in mineral rights on the moon, thanks to a codicil in the will of astronaut Neil Armstrong.
  3. The royal birth was attended by top physicians and a leading homeopathy expert at the insistence of the child’s grandfather, Prince Charles.
  4. In line with tradition, a ceremonial rope, last used to hold down Queen Victoria during the troubled birth of Prince Alfred in 1844, was brought to the hospital and made available to the Duchess. It is understood that the rope and the historic “Boleyn” biting leather was not used on this occasion.
  5.  The Duke and Duchess are free to give the baby any name other than Oliver, Chloe and Abdul.
  6. The baby will have a quiet first few months of life before being flown to Washington D.C to receive President Obama’s Official Blessing.
  7. Thanks to powerful lighting and a concave glass ceiling in her private theatre, the Duchess has the first vagina visible from space.
  8. Until recently royal babies were swapped with much better looking children on the ward at the time, a tradition that ended with the birth of Prince Harry.
  9.  As the Duke & Duchess have stressed that no expense should be spared in securing the safety of the royal baby, the Crown Jeweller and Britax have been commissioned to produce a diamond encrusted gold child seat for the horse drawn Gold State Coach.
  10. On hearing news of the birth, Masai tribesmen in Kenya killed a goat as a mark of respect and because it was dinner time and they were hungry.
  11. By varying how much honey they’re fed, in an emergency a royal can give birth to a range of objects including babies, small teapots and swans.
  12. Decimal lists concerning royal babies are banned under English law. The preferred number is 12, to coincide with their imperial number of toes.

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