Morrissey: An appeal


Heaven knows he’s miserable now.

As his planned South American tour is cancelled due to lack of funds the Evening Harold is launching an appeal in aid of eighties icon Morrissey. We refuse to accept that his current circumstances are down to the natural fading of a star who hasn’t released any new material in years and simply coasts on the back of endlessly repackaged hits.

Together we could help Morrissey be great again. He could create, the flame could burn and the tiresome arse who spouts racist drivel and is more embarrassing than most people’s nan could become nothing but an unpleasant memory.

There is hope.

Help us to help Moz.

£3 – will buy a single gladioli.

£10 – will buy a bottle of supermarket own brand blended whisky to create a drunken hour.

£25 – will buy a limited edition of Billy Bragg’s greatest hits all the better for inspiration to found in the bile provoked by a nemesis.

£75 – will buy a lovely shirt which hopefully will be kept on.

£520 – will buy an iPhone5 on which to call Johnny Marr.

£200,000 – will buy the headline slot on the Pyramid Stage at Glastonbury.

Morrissey once said that “age shouldn’t affect you. It’s just like the size of your shoes – they don’t determine how you live your life! You’re either marvellous or you’re boring” let’s help him to be marvellous again. If this man’s lyrics got you through adolescence why not chip in a few quid to help him get through middle-age? It may not be the same as giving money to save tigers but there’s thousands of tigers left in the wild while there’s only one Steven Patrick Morrissey.

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