Yesterday the Lord Chief Justice upheld the block on the publication of letters from Prince Charles to various Whitehall ministers saying that the public does not have the right to know the details of his attempts to influence government policy.
We are defying the law and publishing a selection of Prince Charles’ letters over the years. Let’s just be grateful that this one is content with writing. Prince Philip seriously believed that he should be allowed to participate in Cabinet meetings which we’re sure would have led to some jaw-dropping foreign policies, especially when Enoch Powell was a minister.
From: Prince Charles
To: Leon Brittain
Date: 19th June 1984
Home Secretary,
Watching the news yesterday on the idiot box (I’d be perfectly happy to go without but Diana does love her ‘soap operas’) it occurred to me that we might be looking a tad severe in the eyes of the world. Police on horseback charging at striking miners truncheons drawn whacking away at anyone who is unfortunate enough to get within range, it all looked terribly over-emotional. Could you have a word?
I suspect it is a dietary issue. I’ve seen police canteens – did you know that just like everywhere else they smell of fresh paint? – and the police all seem rather attached to ‘having a brew’ especially one laced with sugar which is so very bad for one’s system and sense of harmony with the world. Have you considered banning tannins and caffeine from police stations and replacing them with peppermint tea? If you have not then I urge you to do so and assure you that you will be very surprised with the results.
Word to the wise. I’d try this first with the Met – they seem to need calming down the most.
The miners really are splendid chaps. It must be so satisfying to work quite literally with the earth itself and shifts must be very heaven! One never gets ‘time off’ from being a prince.
Sincerely,
Charles
P.S I never did manage to answer your question at that defence shindig the other night but having given it some thought this whirlybird pilot believes that while Westland have in the past built some fine machines those clever chaps at Sikrosky really seem to know their onions. Hope this helps.
From: Prince Charles
To: Margaret Thatcher
1st June 1989
Prime Minister,
Let me start this missive by congratulating you again on ten years ‘at the top’. What a remarkable achievement and I urge you not to worry about the rumblings of discontent from one or two political pygmies. Your position in history and as the leader of this country for years to come is assured. Why, you are every bit as unassailable as Shirley Porter.
Today is an anniversary of mine as it is twenty years to the day that I obediently shogged off to Caernarfon to officially become Prince of Wales. Do you meet the Welsh often? I don’t suppose you have all that much to do with them so I must inform you that they are a very singular people and I believe that the time is right for me to ‘pass on’ the mantle of Prince of Wales to William who absolutely adores the place because last time we were there he saw a badger and his mother let he and his brother eat fish and chips. So Wales is very much a good fit for William whose unsophisticated desires can easily be accommodated there however it is something of a burden to an educated man.
I was wondering if on this twentieth anniversary it might not be a good idea to ‘get the ball rolling’ on my being given a new title. I was thinking that with my skills and expertise the time has come for me to lend a guiding hand to Surrey or Oxfordshire – Hertfordshire at a push. Somewhere nearer to civilisation. I haven’t, of course, given a thought to how much more valuable land is there nor the massive increase in income that I would receive from renting it out. I think only of the people and how best I can serve.
The formal decision on this lies with Her Majesty but she would not stand in opposition to you were you to make a ‘firm enough’ case.
As ever,
Charles
P.S A smile comes to my lips whenever I think about that last dinner at Chequers. Where on earth did you find that Jimmy Savile fellow? He’s an absolute riot!
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