There has been protests throughout Bahrain this week at the decision to allow a fierce and brutal dictatorship come and stage a race in the country. The FIA, Formula 1’s governing body, has been accused of ruling with an iron fist to create an environment of fear up and down the paddock.
The ruling parties main opposition, the Formula One Teams Association (FOTA), have been involved in a long battle to try to install democracy into the sport, but have suffered casualties along the way, with Eddie Jordan now being ritually humiliated on television as punishment for past signs of dissent.
The FIA’s minister for F1, Bernie Ecclestone, has given his view of the race being held in Bahrain. “This gives us a chance to show the world that we are actually a peaceful organisation, as long as everyone does as I say” he told a captive audience.
“Of course we listen to any concerns the teams may have about their security, especially Force India who had to flee from an attack travelling from last year’s Grand Prix. Rest assured, those views will ignored and the governing body will continue to do what we want”
Analysts have spent the last few years studying the FIA dictatorship ever since the start of the ‘Paddock Spring’, when protests from the teams began. “This regime has a lot in common with many similar ones throughout the world” one expert told us. “Often you find the man in charge suffers from the well-known medical condition ‘short man’s syndrome’”. This is something a 2’6” Ecclestone denies.
In the latest twist to the saga, Mr Eccleston has begun to question why the Bahraini government has even allowed them to race there in the first place, after both Syria and Zimbabwe refused to be associated with such an strange and evil man. He said “they just seem to be inviting protest, but I suppose it gives their people a chance to see things could always be worse”
Authorities are hoping the race on Sunday will pass without incident, with human rights abuses being used to silence any protest. Ecclestone explained, “anyone found not supporting the ruling body will face the punishment of a 2 hour conversation with Lewis Hamilton.”