Complaints have flooded in to the BBC website, after it was revealed that the war wasn’t mentioned for nearly a whole afternoon.
Despite Britain being in Europe and us All Being Friends Now, it’s generally accepted that the Nazi Menace should be dwelled upon on at least every hour and more often at weekends.
“I was appalled”, revealed local pensioner Doris Kettle. “I rely on the BBC’s Rolling Old News Channel for some comfort in these unthreatening times. But then last Thursday, they didn’t so much as a mention rationing or them brainboxes in Bletchley. They should warn us if they’re not going to do that: I assumed the war had restarted.”
Doris was eventually tracked down to a corrugated structure in her garden and calmed by relatives who coaxed her out with a banana and an old tin of ham. But that wasn’t before she’d blacked out her windows, killed her pets and reported her neighbour for being a Trotskyist agitator.