Hello, what are these, then?
The BBC has apologised after inadvertently revealing to viewers of The Voice that there is an above-waist difference between men and women.
More than 1000 rabid drooling people smelling of urine phoned the corporation after Saturday night’s live final on BBC One to complain that presenter Holly Willoughby’s low-cut dress clearly showed that women have ‘upper body curvy places which might very well have nipples attached’.
The dress in question, a black lace affair, apparently revealed some five square inches of chesty skin, which caused a bespectacled man in Altrincham to spontaneously ejaculate in anger.
12 year old Harold resident Erica Carter’s story is certainly sadder than most, and she’s not what many would consider a natural star of the stage.
Born a mute, her mother died during the delivery of Erica and her twin brother Graham. Her father was driven to alcohol dependency under the stress of caring for the two children alone, and eventually took his own life when the twins were 5. Shunted from children’s home to children’s home, Erica could always rely on the support and voice of her brother, until he died two years later in a tragic landfill accident. Erica’s grandmother emigrated to the UK from Australia to care for her, moving to Harold to provide the warmth of a family she so badly needed. Sadly her grandmother passed away last August.