Have you ever wondered why the summer’s news is tediously predictable? Well, the EH can exclusively reveal that all newspapers pre-write the summer news so journalists can sod off to the beach rather than sit in sweaty offices waiting for something to happen. Which it never does.
So here is a sample of what we have already written for the summer:
16th July: The temperature sneaks above 20 degrees and a heatwave is finally declared. First use of “Scorcher” in a headline. Everyone rushes to the beaches and then rushes away again after a killer shark panic on a Devonian beach. The Great White Shark turns out to be a boringly harmless basking shark. Continue reading