Hodgson has been practicing this expression for after every match
Roy Hodgson has confirmed the squad of players with whom he will share the blame for another crushing defeat at the national game.
As expected, Wayne Rooney remains as Captain and role model for the younger players “I was an exciting prospect myself ten years ago” said Mr Potato Head “but I learned to cut out the clever stuff and play the traditional England way.” He says the squad have watched Rugby Union videos to help embed the principles of passing backwards. Continue reading
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Bless him, he’s tired
Raheem Sterling has suggested that the introduction of designated ‘nap breaks’ into football matches would help prevent a repeat of the fatigue that saw him left out of the England starting line-up at the weekend.
The Liverpool winger has claimed that the issue of young players being a bit sleepy is one that is not widely acknowledged within the game, calling for greater understanding, and maybe a thirty minute break to be introduced into each half of a match for them to have a little sleep. Continue reading
The English football team’s quest to return home from Brazil is in tatters after the team failed to clear Customs.
Pre-flight expectations were high with most fans expecting England to progress to the prestigious immigration queue stage, and some dared to dream the team would board the flight and make it all the way home.
But the Customs fiasco had the press and fans question whether England can actually compete with the best on the international travel stage.
“And then, after the penalties, I usually slump my shoulders like this”
At a press briefing at Luton Airport on Sunday, Roy Hodgson confirmed younger England players are being taken to the World Cup primarily to get used to losing.
”Some have lost with their clubs at home and at European level: now they must do so on the World stage if they want to earn a long-term England place.”
Sadly, others are still hungry for success “You can see it in their eyes: they positively radiate passion, belief and hope. And it’s my job, together with Stevie [team captain, Gerrard], to snuff that out.” Continue reading
Fresh from making a formal complaint about Roy Hodgson telling a joke about a monkey, Chair of the Society of Black Lawyers, Peter Herbert, has now set his sights on the nation’s zoos, who he claims also use the term. The decorated civil rights lawyer is insisting that any reference to monkeys is removed from signs and promotional materials or he will make a complaint to the police.
“To think that in 2013 people still believe that this is acceptable language is unbelievable. Some of these zoos have signs and even adverts that have clear racial overtones which, in the multicultural society we live, is frankly unacceptable.” said Mr Herbert,
“London Zoo, which is one of the biggest zoos in the country and employs many ethnic minorities, has an attraction called ‘Meet the monkeys’. This sort of casual racism is astonishing and my organisation will be lodging a police complaint if this is not renamed immediately.” Continue reading